Second Review of Dr. Zoltan’s "Emily Dickinson EP"


Review by Brian Compton

Ah, the new Dr. Zoltan EP… “Emily Dickinson Selectively Stops For Selective Serotonin Re-Uptake Inhibitors.” A little taste of the forthcoming album and a lot of pleasure for our auditory orifices. Or at least mine. If not yours then please check and be sure the earphones are in the right hole, fools. If this is any indication of what we have to look forward to on the upcoming album, “Why I Am So Wise, Why I Am So Clever, And Why I Write Such Good Songs…” then I am “Totally stoked, dude!” The man is a tease and I personally love a good tease. Not like that, I am not gay or anything… Let us look at the songs in detail shall we?

“Gnomon – He Who Discerns And Reveals, Movement DCCLXXVII,” the first track on this seventeen minutes of insanity that Dr. Zoltan calls an EP, pretty much just dives right into it. It appears to be in 6, no wait 5… okay now 6 again, no no 4, okay maybe 3? Oh hell, I give up. Whew okay, about a minute in we get a small reprieve from the time signature insanity in the form of a tasty little bridge that reminds me a lot of Alter Enigma, not that anyone will know who that is anyway. Oh well, Broccoli anyone?

On we go right into “The Magnificent Parade of the Fifteen Odd-Toed Ungulates.” What a magnificent parade it is, although for some reason it makes me think “hoe down.” Just me? Figures. Awesome riff and miniature drum solo around 1:56 along with some jaw dropping finger work on lead guitar. Malmsteen eat your heart out. Then back into the main theme of the song as we doe-see-doe our way in to the third track.

We get to enjoy a nice acoustic guitar and bass intro to “Albums To Slay And Corporations To Conquer” into a kind of feel good riff. Some Maximum-Volumized sounding guitar soloing ending with a bit of shredage to put Petrucci to shame and on into a familiar sounding bass heavy riff. Where do I know that from? … Hmm, oh well. A song that over all gives me a happy, care free sort of feel. And who would not be happy with a square butt hole anyway? 

A short drum segue entitled, “Greetings From The Wrong Century,” and we dive into…

“The Old World Monkeys And Their Woeful Masters.” Elevator music? Yep. Some nice relaxing jazzy elevator music with a bit of guitar virtuosity at the end. The calm before the storm that is the final track on this seventeen minute ear full of ridiculousness.

For the sixth and final track we get smacked in the face with epic, almost Elfman-esque orchestral work and over the top drum solos. We are launched right into a ridiculous bass ostinato in, what I am guessing is 13/16, with a drum solo programed by Zoltan over the top that would make Virgil Donati turn his head. There is so much going on in this track I do not really know how to summarize it all. “Escape From Beneath The Imaginary City” is absolutely the perfect end to this madness and it leaves you wanting more, so play it again and wait for the new album.

Dr. Zoltan’s comments: Once again: the drums (electronic “ddrums,” actually) were all played by Pat McDonald, who is now with Charlie Daniels Band. The next album, “Why I Am So Wise, Why I Am So Clever, And Why I Write Such Good Songs…” WILL feature Drumkit From Hell. Also: “Escape From Beneath The Imaginary City” is in a cycle of 7, not 13. 

{ Visit to find out more about this album — the one that was just reviewed, that is. }

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