Dr. Zoltan Øbelisk

2005 – 2011

Carl King’s persona of Dr. Zoltan was imagined as an evil version of John Tesh’s Intelligence For Your Life. The Dr. Zoltan domain name was purchased in December of 2005, and was intended to be Sir Millard Mulch 2.0.

Dr. Zoltan “Why I Am So Wise” Album Sampler

An album spotlighting Toontrack’s Drumkit From Hell, Why I Am So Wise, Why I Am So Clever, And Why I Write Such Good Songs… was mostly recorded in northern California in May 2007. It was executive produced by John La Grou, a TED Speaker and founder of Millennia Media. It featured a 5-minute drum battle against Marco Minnemann. It was released, half-finished, in January 2010. Only 100 copies were manufactured.

An album previously recorded in 1996, and released on cassette with a photocopied cover as “Sir Millard Mulch: 7 Pot-Boiling Delusions” was re-orchestrated and remixed (with special guests) and re-released as Emily Dickinson Kindly Stops For Selective Serotonin Re-Uptake Inhibitors EP for digital download only.

Dr. Zoltan and Marco Minnemann prepare to declare War On Fun! (2008)

Alive Appearances
On April 19th & 20th, 2008, Dr. Zoltan Øbelisk declared War On Fun at Hollywood’s The Tomorrow Show, hosted by Brendon Small of Metalocalypse. He was joined on stage by Marco Minnemann.

Death & Post-Death Activities
A devoted Opponent of All Entertainment, Dr. Zoltan was killed in the War On Fun on February 10, 2011 by pop culture’s ironic enjoyment of Friday by Rebecca Black. Dr. Zoltan briefly rolled over in his grave and began bleeding again on September 28, 2011 upon the release of a song called “I Am The Table” from Lulu, an apparent White Stripes Tribute by Metallica and Lou Reed.

Dr. Zoltan reviewed in Decibel Magazine, April 2010 Issue.

Dr. Zoltan Øbelisk
Why I Am So Wise, Why I Am So Clever, And Why I Write Such Good Songs

Rating: 8/10

Headline: Take a good look, granny — he tore your shit up

While it makes colorful interview filler, the “metal is to classical music as the bird to the dinosaur” memelet holds less water than a snowflake. Nowhere near extinction, the classical tradition is flourishing: evolving and infiltrating other realms at a rate close to metal’s, while nourishing with shades of its older selves. Hence, the case of mistaken identity. Can we really expect the dudes in Holy Grail to realize their being fed by phantoms?

At the very learn, Dr. Zoltan Øbelisk knows what side his ghost pterodactyl is buttered on. On Why I Am So Wise, Why I Am So Clever, And Why I Write Such Good Songs, the Angelino auteur and veteran YouTube trollbait provider formerly known as Sir Millard Mulch (real name: Carl King) ventures far beyond the musical equivalent of message-board Beethoven worship, dropping perceptively metallized renditions of Sergei Prokofiev’s Piano Sonata No. 8, Movement III, and Bela Bartok’s Piano Sonata, Movement III among a slew of his own (mostly) instrumental compositions.

A master drum programmer and able-multi-instrumentalist, Øbelisk often gets justifiably compared to Frank Zappa (check out edutainment epic “Lost Philosophical Technology of the 19th Century” to find out why), and resolutely identifies metal.

Still, his music’s overarching psychic imprint most resembles those of cartoon soundtrack giants Carl Stalling and Raymond Scott. Why any number of filmmakers and / or video game developers haven’t already snapped this fucker up is anybody’s guess. King could out-compose Danny Elfman with both frontal lobes tied behind his scrotum.

-Rod Smith

Decibel Magazine, April 2010 Issue

Tribute Articles




Dr. Zoltan released several low-budget videos on YouTube:

The videos received an overwhelmingly negative response, except from Terry Bozzio. They were removed from YouTube in 2009.