Elect Bokonon / Goldstein 2008

Dr. Zoltan is actively supporting the Bokonon / Goldstein 2008 campaign. Dr. Zoltan has been promised a place in their “cabinet” if they are elected!

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Official Executive Leadership Plan

• As the first order of business, Bokonon / Goldstein will deport all Registered Republicans and Theocrats to Iraq and Afghanistan, where they can more directly and effectively “Support The Troops.” Those who say, “We should stay until the job is finished,” will be granted their wish!

• All employees within a company will be paid the same salary, an average based on sales. CEOs, Presidents, and Managers will not have the power to bully and intimidate other workers. There will be no hierarchy of power. Time clocks will be outlawed. No more uniforms that betray utility. Leaders will motivate through inspiration, not fear and punishment. Those not contributing to the company will be removed without the fear of financial devastation. 

• Under the executive leadership of Bokonon / Goldstein, all formalized, conformist “educational” institutions such as schools, colleges, and universities will be abolished. Degrees will be voided. Parents will go back to doing their job of instructing their children. Once the children are old enough, they will educate themselves with tools such as Wikipedia and independent research. True learning will be motivated by curiosity, not by greed. 

• Bokonon / Goldstein will destroy the plague of Financial Inertia — the rich will no longer make money simply by being rich (no more low-percentage interest savings accounts that only benefit those with large amounts of cash). The poor will no longer be punished for being poor (charged late fees and overdraft charges). All basic necessities (food, water, shelter, health care) will be standardized and offered in return for Community Service (see below). The People will be encouraged to focus on higher-level pursuits beyond survival and material acquisition of products. 

• Bokonon / Goldstein will outlaw the following practices / industries:

1.) Fast Food
2.) Advertising
3.) Insurance
4.) Lawsuits

• A maximum wage will be enforced on all citizens, including celebrity entertainers such a musicians, actors, and athletes. No Citizen will be permitted to hoard excess money in an amount greater than the sum of one year’s basic necessities. This will allow for occasional sabbaticals and retreats from society. All excess wealth will be re-invested in the community.

• All money wasted on Surreal Wars and Presidential Campaigns will be redirected towards Mass Transit. Personal automobiles will be banned within city limits and replaced with public trains, bicycles, Segways, and other efficient forms of transportation in densely populated areas. Sitting in traffic will never happen again! 

• Cellphone / internet usage will be limited to 2 hours per day per citizen, at pre-determined times, in darkened kiosks. This will be designated as a time of personal reflection, education, and communication. Direct communication with local, organic beings will be encouraged during the remaining hours of the day. 

• All Citizens will be granted the opportunity to work for 4 hours per day in Community Service. This will include removing graffiti, cleaning up trash, emptying wastebaskets, maintaining footpaths and parks, pulling chariots, assisting the sick and elderly, and organizing the affairs of their own local neighborhoods. Bokonon / Goldstein will, in return, offer standardized basic essentials, Army style. The remaining 4 hours per work day can be spent on self-contained businesses and freelancing. 

{ This post was written and approved by Dr. Zoltan! If you think the world is just fine how it is, please visit http://www.drzoltan.com/blog. Or read some Kurt Vonnegut or George Orwell. }

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